George Santayana wrote,
"A string of excited miscellaneous fugitive pleasures is not happiness; happiness resides in imaginative reflection and judgment, when the picture of one's life, or of human life, as it truly has been or is, satisfies the will and is gladly accepted."Now that I've shrugged off this burdensome, smelly hide that labeled me and told me and the rest of the world what I was and what I did, I feel renewed. I realize I am happy, and have been all along in this beautiful world I live in, the house I share with my truest love, this place I've always known was "home."
I've gotten back in touch with my love of cooking and domesticity in general. I'm going to find it very difficult to leave this behind and adopt a new work persona and title, because I cherish this trusted and ancient way of living. I'm baking bread on a Wednesday because I have time and because I embrace the sensuousness of flour and wonder still at the miracle of risen dough. Or I'm walking the dogs at 10 a.m. instead of rushing them up and down the road before work, yelling at them to go faster when all they want to do is experience nature like I should be doing, sniffing the air and mocking the crows. This is me, always was me, and will forever be me.
"The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves." Carl Jung