Monday, December 14, 2009

Gotta dumb it down doobie doo down dow-own....

...dumba dumba down doobie doo down dow-own, dumb my resume down, doobie doo down dow-own -- findin' work is hard to-ooh ooooh do!!! bum bum bum bum bum buuuuum.....

Wow. Went for another interview yesterday, only this one was different from the last. I had zero expectations of getting this job. Zee-roh. It was for a file clerk position, only temporary; 24 hours a week for twelve weeks. Luckily for me, the interviewer was funny and hip with really cool dark lavender glasses. Let's call her "Elelta." It's a name that means "laughter." She was bright, pretty and sincere.

Elelta and I chatted for awhile and she told me all TWO things I'd have to do in this job and asked me about my qualifications. It think it was agonizing for both of us really. After we got through these preliminaries I just knew I could speak my mind, so I said, "you're not going to hire me for this job are you?" She laughed and said no. I already knew the answer and knew she would tell me the truth. We had been laughing and chatting the whole time, not much of an interview really; more like new friends meeting for the first time.

Elelta relayed with some frustration how they received resumes from people with masters degrees applying for these piddley-assed jobs (my description, not hers) and how she just couldn't even interview them. It would be like trying to hire a down-and-out Albert Einstein to flip burgers at McDonalds. How do you interview a person who is more qualified than you are to do a job that is truly not worthy of their skill set and experience? I don't know the answer to that question.

So here I am today, trying to figure out how to dumb-down my resume. Pretend I don't have one at all? That may be my best bet. Until I go in for an interview and my face tells all and then I can't shut up and I reveal that I was lying all along just to get my foot in the door. Ha ha fooled you. Yes, I can find my way out, thank you very much for seeing me today. Sorry about the trickery. Please don't call the police....

1 comment:

  1. You got some fine wicked funny writing skills, indeed.