Monday, August 13, 2012

To Dream Perchance to Pee...

Pee dreams.....everyone has them.  You're in the middle of a crowded party and suddenly there's a toilet and you need to pee.  So you do, in the middle of the party with chatty non-curious people on all sides and on a toilet that has "problems."  It's either full of something, missing its seat, or looks like a giant sauna box where your head sticks out and you converse with folks whilst doing Number One.

Sometimes in my search for relief in these dreams, all starts out perfectly well and sane.  I'm seated comfortably and then notice that the walls have turned to clear glass or there are people having a conference behind me at a large table that's only just appeared.  Or I'm sitting in my sauna box and three or four other people are sitting in their sauna boxes around me.  And the toilet paper is the size of a twin sheet and made of neoprene.

Why, I ask myself, don't I just awaken and go to my own little space to take care of business?  Well, where would be the fun in that?  Apparently the Minions of Morpheus would rather I start peeing in the dream, wake suddenly horrified in my bed and feel around for evidence of it being real.  I can hear them laughing in my head as the shreds of sleep waft away with me trundling down the hall to my little space.  After all, the Minions only get six to eight hours of sleepy-time gamboling a night and they must make the most of it.

The mind works in mysterious ways.  You can have a pee dream that takes you all the way to emptying your bladder into a toilet located in the middle of a busy intersection set atop a twenty foot pillar, but you can't get the swarthy prince or comely princess to get to third base in the sexy dreams.  Damn you, Minions!

No comments:

Post a Comment